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Metaverse Episode 1
Part 1 The Rift Cafe The bar sat atop an asteroid, a construction of titanic proportions for Titanic beings. The floors were sparkling white marble, the furniture was stark grey metallic pieces, the pillars were carved nebula clouds, red green and blue, and a miniature sun hovered above the patrons. Yet despite this, it was dim, in a paradoxical nature, the lighting seemed to be dim. At the counter was a titanic being, a man made entirely out of flame, with no visible features except for his large orange almost shaped eyes, his black metal face plate and the plumage of dark grey feathers that gave him a V shaped crest. He sat with his head on the desk was a mug of Nucleon next to him in his hand, fuel harvested from the core of a black hole. It was into this den of titans, godlings, demons and cosmic creatures that a stranger walked in and made their way to the counter. The stranger collasped on one of the chairs, while the other beings just ignored him. A cloaked being suddenly appeared next to the stranger, but then tripped on one of his legs. "Oi! You almost made me faceplant!", the cloaked being said, grabbing the stranger by his collar. "Relax, Clee...", an armoured demon warrior said, as if familiar with the cloaked being, "It's not like this happens at every dimension, and plus, that guy is new, you should give him a chance before tossing him into the Hellmouth." "Agreed, each time you do that, I have to respawn them.", the fire giant said. "I mean...he can do that too...", Clee pointed to an undead zombie god, Zombiejiger. "That's because Teridax and Tsuru can too!", Zombiejiger, in his turn, pointing to a pair of beings, one is a super robot, the other, an Ultraseven-like being. "Don't drag us into this!", Tsuru said, "We're barely here anyways!" "He has a point", the cat-like titan, Hoshino, said. All of them started argueing about the Respawn System and the Hellmouth, before the stranger started writing something on his phone, producing 'Tac-tac' noises with each letter. All of them turned his way, curious of what he was writing. The stranger paid no heed to them, as they watched from a distance. But then SolZen frowned. "Is that an invitation to invade the Rift Café?", SolZen asked, perplexed at how stupid this guy was to order an invasion of the Rift Café. Zombie laughed, "This has to be a joke right...no one is stupid enough to invade the Rift Café...". The stranger looked at the band, and spoke with some pretty broken English, "Our lord Shiny will great." All the titans/gods/demons looked at him like 'Da hell', the stranger didn't care, he continued talking about the numerous great exploits of his "Shiny god" or whatsoever, saying stuff like 'You are all Xenos, Shiny hate Xenos.' or 'Shiny will soon arrive.' The titans temporarely looked at each other, wondering if this guy still had his sanity, they then dove into the bench behind the stranger's. And began to quietly whisper comments and questions. "Is that guy insane?", Hoshino asked, clearly unsure of what kind of being had walked into the café when he was gone. "I have no idea...", Teridax said, randomly joining in from the other bench on the other side of the table. "Does he always randomly pop-up like that?", Akreious asked, wondering if that's what people do these days, randomly appearing to give jumpscares. SolZen shrugged, "What we should be concerned about is...what is that guy planning to do..." Zombie did a shoo-ing motion, "It's probably just a joke man...", Zombie hesitated for a moment, before continuing on, "Besides, no one would be stupid enough to invade this place...at worst, pokemon on drugs will go busting our windows for that..." And at that specific moment, a pokemon on drugs did really bust the café window, revealing a Pikachu that seemed to be having a really bad hair day. The titans all looked at it for a while, before breaking into laughter. That was until, that thing jumped on someone's face. SolZen quickly burned the pokemon off the beings face, sighing, "Is this guy serious right now...and Zombie...you just jinxed us..." Zombie growled as a "Methmander" dove towards his face. Catching it, he brought it up to his face and latched his mandibles over the drug-crazed Pokémon. The arches on his back glowed purple as he sapped the pitiful creature's life force, and dropped it's now-mummified remains. "Zombie, did you just vampire a pokemon?" SolZen asked. "Yep, a methmander!" Zombie replied. Just at that moment, the doors to the café flew open, and a mysterious figure stepped in. The music froze. "What now?" Akreious muttered. "Great Shiny is lord and savior! Here am ULTRAMAN METH-" the new being crowed. His weird intro was cut short as several patrons formed a mob and carried him off kicking and screaming into a pocket dimension for a lynching. SolZen facepalmed. "Oi vey..." Soon a score of identical beings, all apparently as high as a Skydon, poured through the doors. "In great name of Shiny this bar we do claim." one muttered, before collapsing with one of Akreious' swords through its chest. SolZen stared at the body. "Dao..." "YIS! IN NAME OF GREAT SHINY, WHOM I WORSHIP IN MY BASEMENT, YOU SENTENCED TO DETH!" A grating voice that sounded like a drunk Rob Halford attempting his high noted echoed through the café. A hologram of a titanic being with an absurdly tall hat appeared, resembling the... things that had just come in, but more, well, regal isn't the word but you get my meaning. Zombie died laughing. Everyone turned with a gasp, at the god of death's death. Zombie's head popped up with a grin. "I'm the god of death, I can't actually die." He snickered. "AND I WAS RIGHT! Dao worships Shiny in his basement!" "Enough of the chat..." a white cloak floated by. "Let's get to the butt kicking..." Part 2 "EVERYONE GET OUTTA HERE!" Sol bellowed, sending the rest of the patrons fleeing past the high-as-Skydon robot-things. Soon only the coolest, er, toughest regular Titans remained: Sol, Zombie, Akreious, The Hood, Crazybeard, Sentinel, Grenburr, WBC (a hard-swearing space Salamander_ and a relative newcomer, Luna, stood to oppose the army of idiots. They dropped into whatever qualified as fighting stances for each, with Zombie changing his bright colors to a "dank and musty" black/grey/purple/red. One of the robot-things sidled up to Luna. "Hai Drool, I meen Dog, er Doll." It attempted to hit on her. Luna simultaneously facepalmed and decked the robot-thing with a snap of her hair, then started shaking. Pulling her hair over herself, she slid into a corner for the rest of the fight. "Interesting..." The Hood said loudly. Sol gave him a death glare. "Do we divide these suckers up or just ace 'em?" Akreious demanded. "I feel like this is going to be more fun then the time I got the Clown Mafia annoyed at me. Still have to beat those fools sometimes." "Who cares?" Gren asked, waving a mop in a vaguely threating motion. "Take 'em!" Crazybeard's beard shouted. "No! We need a pattern!" Crazybeard shouted back. "No! Take' em!" Crazybeard's beard shouted back. "NO-" "SHUT UP!" The Hood screamed at the... arguers. Crazybeard nodded, and if you know better so did his beard. Through this all the robot-things stood stupidly, their giant hats waving as they gently swayed. "Why are we still standing here like this?" Sol asked quietly. "KICK 'EM!" The fire giant began spamming fireballs into the robot-thing's faces, instantly incinerating them. "Is it just me or are these things more flammable than a Pestar?" Zombie asked, while whirling his scythe and carving through the robot-things. Akreious roared, hellfire streaming from the cracks in his armor, and charged the robot-things, sending mechanical parts flying. He stabbed one, two, three robot-things and soon left a pile of sparking sprockets on the floor. Grenburr walked through with a broom and pushed everything out a back door into a black hole. Crazybeard stood with his beard choking a robot-thing (don't ask how that works) while he screamed memes into its face. "NOW LOOK AT THIS NET!" Zombie was whispering lyrics along with Crazybeard. Sentinel sprang around the room, latching onto and shaking robot-things until they fell into itty-bitty pieces. Meanwhile, Gren had knocked an opponent down and was beating a mop in its face. Luna finally recovered, and sent out a Pokémon. "Go, my favorite weapon, EEEEVVVEEEEEEEEEEEE!" The little creature leapt out, glanced around, and then tackled a robot-thing to the ground. "Ban Ray's out!" Sol cried, causing everyone to pull out some sort of weapon. Sol carried a laser weapon, Zombie what looked like a KRISS Vector, and so on. "HOLDIN'!" everyone else shouted. "Heat 'em up!" "SMOKIN'!" everyone else shouted. "Load 'em up!" "READY!" everyone else shouted. "Rift Café shows your @$$ get kicked in slow motion! THROW IT!" Six laser beams fired, then a seventh. Several of the robot-things vanished in a blast of energy. "Who didn't fire?" Zombie demanded. "Well, try again! 20 seconds!" "20 seconds is too long!" The Hood said. "5 seconds!" Akreious replied. Nine beams fired the next time, eliminating a group of the robot-things at once. "A NEW RECORD!" Gren cheered. Sentinel barked. With that, all 100+ of the robot-things finally fell. A shadow appeared under the door, slowly advancing. The doors swung open, and Lord Dao stepped forth, toting an oversized weapon which glowed with a malicious energy. "Cretings, we finale meat and this is me Bam Ray." WBC cursed. Part 3 "Did he say 'cretins' or 'greetings'?" Luna asked. "I think both..." Zombiejiger replied. "Wait... BAM RAY?! HAHAHAHAHAHA!" He literally cracked up, then reformed. "FEER MEEEE!" Dao screamed, and aimed the "Bam Ray" at the Titans, who stopped laughing. Energy charged along it, rushing towards the front... and fired out the back. Dao didn't even have time to scream as he erased himself from existence. A bright flash filled the room, and when it was done nothing was left to be seen of the deranged entity. "pfffffffffffffft!" someone made an awkward noise trying and failing not to laugh. Suddenly Sol pointed at something. "WHAT IN THE NAME OF AIJIHI IS THAT ******* ABOMINATION?!?!?!" Zombie and Gren followed his gaze... "Ew!" Gren gasped. "Is that a black-eyed monkey piglet..!?" "Luna...leave..." "What, why...?" she replied "Because your eyes are too young for what I'm about to do to Grenburr..." "Wait...what..." "I know who let it in!" Shouted Sol, his fire turning a blazing bloody dark red hue. THE END Thus did Luna leave, but as she departed the anomaly that held the cafe, she heard a wailing that made her blood run cold, and a thunder that nearly deafened her, a thunder that could not be denied even in the vacuum of space. Thus it was that Grenburr was smote by the cold merciless anger of the sun Titan who left his broken body, blasted upon the floor and ceiling of the cafe, to reform in a long state of utter agony, while the other patrons were left in utter shock and horror. So absolute was Sol's vengeance upon Grenburr that Akreious, jester and mocker of suffering, was left speechless. Akreious went home that day, no longer desiring to torment the damned souls of mortals for as he said 'how do you top that?'. So it was that for the next several centuries, the Cafe was near absent for a few, as the unsettling noise of Grenburr's pain and suffering as his immortal bodies recollected itself, each bit of recovery accompanied by the firing of thousands of regenerated pain receptors. Some say, Grenburr learned his lesson...but knowing him. Category:SolZen321 Category:Metaverse Series